In mid-May of 2007 I found out that I'd be working at Lake Ann Camp (www.lakeanncamp.com, I mentioned it briefly in a previous post) and I decided that I wanted to get to know some of the people I'd be working with. There was one girl and two guys I got pretty close to in the weeks prior to camp.
The two guys I happened to like. (And sadly it was based on to weeks of knowing each other and having never seen each other before.) Well, anyways, before either one of them got to camp I'd found out that one of them liked me also. I was overjoyed.
Well, camp started and that first week was brutal, let me tell ya. People kept asking me if we were dating and when I'd say no they'd ask why, to which I didn't know the answer. Well, after the first week of camp was done we started dating. We dated the rest of the summer and for a couple months after, but it was long-distance and hard.
Long story short, he broke up with me in mid-October and stopped talking to me altogether in November. I tried to maintain a friendship but he made doing so VERY difficult. By the following summer (2008) I was able to work at the camp again. It was this summer that I met one of my good friends who I didn't know knew him. To this day I'm still glad that I didn't know that from the get go, because it would have made that summer very, very long.
Anyways, that summer was very hard for me. He and I had walked EVERY inch of that camp together and thus there were memories of him EVERYwhere. In July my dad ended up getting hospitalized for blood-clots in his lungs and everything was turned upside down. I then made the decision to go home. (Other reason being I saw my ex everywhere and I was sick of watching the guy I liked be with another girl. =/ ) By September of that year I'd decided that it was high time I have him a piece of my mind. The conversation was brief and fairly rude (on his part), but I was okay...he'd finally answered me flat out.
As the year drew to a close I was content. Single and very content. By mid-January I wasn't expecting more drama, boy related drama. (I'll explain this in another post.) The months went on without a word and I was still content. No longer single, but I was still content that he wasn't talking to me.
Just the other day I was thinking about patience. I hadn't contacted my ex in almost a year and decided I'd give it one more go, if it blew-up in my face again, I didn't care, BUT if it didn't...lets just say I was counting on that.
I sent him a long-ish e-mail going over what'd been going on in my life since we last talked and telling him I hoped all was well with him. I expected nothing in return, but it was worth a try. I'd forgiven him long before and knew if we were supposed to e-mail or talk that God would make it happen. Later that night I happened to be doing some major catching up with my cousin (who I haven't talked to in quite a while) on Myspace and adding some photos when loe and behold he signs on. "Seriously?!" Was my immediate thought.
I figured he'd be on his typical 2-3 minutes, but when it reached 15 minutes, I'll be honest, the urdge to message him was HUGE! But I resolved not to message him, after all, if we were supposed to talk God would work it out, right? Right. So I sat there another 20-30 minutes chatting with my cousin when he messaged me! I was in shock, but I replied to his question.
I wasn't expecting him to talk long and wouldn't have been surprised if he logged off on me BUT he talked. Not a deep thought provoking conversation, but a light surfacy conversation. Which was huge since we hadn't talked in FOREVER. I didn't care that it was surfacy, we were having a conversation and that's all that mattered to me. Well a little over an hour later he said he had to go, said goodnight, waited for me to reply and got off.
Well we're not best friends nor so I expect a friendship of any kind from this, BUT I've been able to forgive him fully and I've been able to successfully put offences behind me and have been able to thank him for what he HAS given me as a result. From all of this I some how ended up with the greatest boyfriend ever, who makes me happy everyday. :)
My ex may have hurt me in the past (and hurt me a lot) BUT I truly have been able to forgive and forget.
Jesus answered Peter saying "seventy times seven"...the point isn't that we forgive someone one hundred forty times, its that we never stop forgiving them. He came to save the whole world and he's forgiven me so why then should I harbor pains an seek revenge? Especially when forgiveness feels this good??
Do you need to forgive anyone today? It'll make you feel better, trust me...
it is easier to forgive and forget
-forgive the offence and
-CHOOSE to forget the pain
you'll be glad you did!
Well that's all for today's ramble,
Until the next,
Nicole Louise
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